As the title implies, I'm getting married this fall! My partner and I are excited, but we've quickly realized what we've heard many times- people try to make your wedding about them. We've already caved to our families a bit- we originally wanted a super small wedding of 25 people, but agreed to invite extended family so now it's 75 people. But that was our limit- we've already put out feet down with parents' friends and work acquaintances, just no. Now comes the question of kids: I told my dad before I sent out save the dates that he could tell my step siblings they'd be invited but it's going to be a child free event for many reasons:
- The wedding will take place at an art gallery- not an ideal place for kids to run around.
- The ceremony starts at eight and goes until 11:30, too late for kids to be awake without getting cranky.
- I want my friends and family to relax and have fun, not worry about their kid running into a sculpture and breaking something expensive.
- I've been a bridesmaid four times, been to a bunch of weddings, and every wedding that invited kids had a kid loudly talking/crying during the ceremony or threw a fit/got into trouble at the reception. And I get it! Weddings are boring for kids (and sometimes adults, depending on the wedding), so I don't expect a kid to not get fussy sitting still and being quiet.
My dad responds by saying, "Well, what do you expect your step sister, Sarah, to do with her kids?" I told him the same thing my other guests with kids are planning- either get a baby sitter or don't come. He then tells me I should hire a babysitter for the wedding to accommodate my guests' children. Wat. I don't have kids, why would I hire a babysitter?! That's one of the many reasons why I don't have a kid!
Now, I can be a bit of a push over with my family. But I've already caved on the small wedding. So I calmly said that I wasn't going to do that. Cue five minutes of him trying to figure out what my step sister will possibly do with her kids- could I recommend a baby sitter to her? Could I organize a group of my wedding guests to pitch in for a group sitter? Uh, no, I don't have kids, how the fuck would I know a babysitter? I finally ended up saying, "Dad, I understand it might be a dilemma, but I have enough on my plate, so I'm not going to take on other people's problems right now. If Sarah can't find a sitter and it just doesn't work out, I really won't be offended, I understand kids require sacrifices. However, if Sarah disregards my request not bring her kids, I will be offended. She went to med school, Sarah is smart, she'll figure something out one way or another."
On the bright side, my sister, who has a three year old son, has been so supportive! Not only did she arrange for my nephew to go to his paternal grandmother's house for the weekend so she can have fun with me, she designed my save the dates which said on the back, "And please don't ask us when we're having kids!" Cracked me up!
Any stories from you guys about child free weddings? Rants? Raves?
Submitted April 15, 2018 at 07:03AM by PuddlemereUnited https://ift.tt/2JNzdmQ